Percival’s P.T.: Because Percival is such a special breed, he has several genetic defects. We limit ourselves to vowel sounds and grunts, and just get back in touch with our primal selves, roaming around the apartment, pissing and shitting at will, and foraging for scraps of salami.
No cell phones, no iPads, no laptops, nothing. Unplug and unwind: We’ve recently started doing this thing where we totally disconnect for a few hours, and it’s been really liberating. We have a platinum membership, which gets you into all the chambers. The guys in my class are super ripped, which is very motivating.Ĭulture club: After we’ve had our breakfast and moved around a little, we like to do something culturally enriching as a family, so usually it’s off to the Met to stroll through the vaults where they keep the stolen Nazi art. Right now, I’m completely obsessed with the Dock Method, which is this thing where you work on the docks for a few hours, tossing cargo into shipping holds, and they pay you $6.75 an hour. Brian, my husband, makes the meanest salami-doughnut-vegetable-oil slop.īreaking A sweat: I like to get exercise out of the way in the morning so I can relax for the rest of the day. Percival has breathing problems, because he’s an affront to God’s plan and isn’t supposed to exist, so we have to be very careful when we’re roughhousing with him, or he’ll suffocate and we’ll have to introduce our kids to the concept of death.īreakfast in bed: On Sundays, we throw all our healthy habits out the window and really indulge, so it’s nothing but salami, doughnuts, and vegetable oil. It’s a cross between a Shih Tzu and a pig. Percival is a Pigapoo, which is a very rare breed. UP AND AT 'EM: My day starts at seven, when our dog, Percival, and our kids, Madisonaddison and Andersoncooper, jump into bed with us.
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